Hey, you ;)

I've talked to you before, but it still feels weird writing this now.

Maybe that's because I've ignored you, and your feelings, for a while now.

I thought I knew you. I really did.
Turns out, I know nothing about you.

I'm afraid to imagine you...
To try to know you before I really know you.

It's kinda like,
"Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?"

I'm afraid to say what I want,
For fear that it won't be what He wants for me.

Oh, the silly vanities the human mind can imagine...
If I were to tell them to someone...

Well, they would probably just laugh.

But wouldn't it be neat if I didn't tell anyone,
and then I met you, and you fit every thought?

I would surely know then, wouldn't I?
But I don't want to expect too much of you.

But if that is what God wants for me...
Then I cannot expect too much from His plan.

Not like I deserve everything I'm hoping for in you --
And I definitely don't deserve all I have in Him!

But if I am faithful to Him, I know He will reward me
In the best way possible.

He is my real reward --
my heaven, my beloved, my husband --

But someday, I'd like to think that He'll reward me with you.
And I am willing to wait,

Now more than ever,
For the great reward you will be.

If it's God's best,
you'll be completely worth it :)

I'm hoping that someday,
I can be your reward too.

Signed,
a small piece of your future,
Mrs.____________