Healing

"You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
and You heal all my disease..."
["Healer", Hillsong United]

The past few months, I have seen God working in me. It hasn't been easy. In fact, I can't think of one time in the past few months when following Him or listening for His voice was easy. It's been difficult through and through.

You see, I have this chronic disease.
It's called being human.
Symptoms include pride, impurity, and sin in general.
There's only one thing that can heal me: the Ultimate Healer, my Savior.

It's not a simple healing process, but He is with me through it all. He is still here, as I am still healing, and always will be.
Don't you see? He has shown me His presence. He's calmed my raging seas and He's walked with me through fire. He's been holding every moment. He stayed and healed me because He loves me.

I've been pretty sick for a while now. I didn't want to admit it. There came a point where I had to give it up and go to the Doctor. And when I did, I saw how truly sick I was. I realized that He's the only one who can help me.

[This is where the miraculous part of the story begins.] 

I started changing. I didn't think it was possible, but suddenly it was happening. Swallowing the horse pills Doc gave me wasn't always fun, but I sure felt better after taking them. Then one day, I looked in the mirror... and I didn't see the same wounds I used to see. The scratches and bruises were fading; my tired eyes appeared brighter and full of life. 

But something appeared that reminded me of my scars. Instead of running away from sure illness, I crept closer. I know exactly what will happen, but I choose to forget. In the process, I forget my healing. 

After being sick and then healed, how could I choose to be sick again?

Why would I choose illness over health?

Why would I choose LESS than what God has offered me?

I have been offered healing and everything I need. 

I can accept it, or I can choose sickness and longing. 

I have to lean on what I know to be true:

"I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

I believe You're my Portion

I believe You're more than enough for me.

Jesus, You're all I need."

I will always need healing... and I will always have healing. 

I will always have more than all that I need.